the backwards academic

Why is it that in the sciences, universities try to move forward, and in the humanities, they seem obsessed with looking back?

I’m considering applying to PhD programs in creative writing. Although every program is different, they basically include the coursework for a PhD in English with a few creative workshops mixed in, with a final creative manuscript instead of the typical PhD thesis.

Many (but not all) schools that offer the creative writing PhD require the GRE subject test in English. Back when I was an English undergrad, the GRE literature exam was reputed to be brutal. This is what’s on it, according to the GRE folks themselves:

– Continental, Classical, and Comparative Literature through 1925 — 5-10%
– British Literature to 1660 (including Milton) — 25-30%
– British Literature 1660-1925 — 25-35%
– American Literature through 1925 — 15-25%
– American, British, and World Literatures after 1925 — 20-30%

To sum this up, 70-80% of the exam focuses on work before 1925.

25-30% of the entire exam will be on BRITISH LIT BEFORE 1600.

What concerns me isn’t that I can’t possibly do well on the test (I can’t. I was terrible at recognizing poets from excerpts when I learned them more than a decade ago, and I don’t know a caesura from a sestina) but what this focus indicates. The discipline, as it appears through the lens of this exam, is inherently colonial, still trying to prove to big bad monarch daddy that we deserve his love, we do, we really really do, because we can appreciate him and study his dirty bards and his pious poets and his sarcastic essayists and his metaphysical poets and his beowulf, thank you very much, and since we’ve been so good, may we please have some more moors, please?

I fear if American universities use this same rubric as the basis for the students they admit, it reflects the courses those students will take and the disciplines they will go on to teach. Where is the contemporary fiction? Does it have a place in the academy? I feel it must, but I fear it does not.

For literature since 1925 — from Britain, America and “World literatures” — there will be between 46 and 69 questions. That includes books and plays and poetry and theory. Will there be anything about the internet? About how literariness and literacy has been affected by email, text messaging, virtual libraries? About how the interaction between author and screen (or reader and screen) may or may not change the way literature comes into being, or is received?

If there are as many questions about works published after 1993 — my random date for widespreadingness of the internet — as there are about Milton, I’ll … I’ll … well, I’ll get them right, is what I’ll do.

Sometimes, I wish I was making robots. Then I could do my math and look forward, and wouldn’t be tested on the origin of the goddamn nut.

About the author

I like sitting in Jack Webb's booth.