Comments on: goodbye Julie Granum http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/ and Pinky's Paperhaus Wed, 03 Nov 2010 05:15:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: ellen http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3247 ellen Tue, 17 Jun 2008 01:52:53 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3247 i am so very grateful to all of you dear , thoughtful friends who have written about Julie and Your deep, tender feelings about her. This has been - and will be for a long time to come - a terrible, terrible loss for her dad and me and her brother, james , sister, brooke and half brother, clay and sister, lyne. Her Aunt Julie, for whom she was named ( my sister) suffers so much also. I would love to know last names of some of you and emails so i can write back if you feel like identifying yourself and sharing. but if not, please know how very much we appreciate your great love for Julie and your recognition of her truly marvellous spirit! What a gift she was to us all. Ellen Granum sprite66@gmail.com i am so very grateful to all of you dear , thoughtful friends who have written about Julie and Your deep, tender feelings about her. This has been – and will be for a long time to come – a terrible, terrible loss for her dad and me and her brother, james , sister, brooke and half brother, clay and sister, lyne. Her Aunt Julie, for whom she was named ( my sister) suffers so much also. I would love to know last names of some of you and emails so i can write back if you feel like identifying yourself and sharing. but if not, please know how very much we appreciate your great love for Julie and your recognition of her truly marvellous spirit! What a gift she was to us all. Ellen
Granum sprite66@gmail.com

]]> By: George S. http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3246 George S. Tue, 10 Jun 2008 23:51:48 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3246 I just found out about Julie Granum´s death through her Mother, Ellen, my half sister-in-law. I wrote her back asking what happened but I have yet to hear from her. Maybe she doesn´t want the world to know, and that is her right. Ellen took care of my mother, Lillian Soules, for the last ten years of her life, as I was down in Venezuela, living and working. But I would go up to Washington every year and we would all gather together for Thanksgiving dinner, and of course Julie would be there. On those occasions I felt rather intimidated in the presence of such a large, extended family, and with my mother in tow, this insecurity was made worse, since Mom frankly was not doing well mentally in those days. But I do remember that on one occasion Julie came up to me and said something like: “It´s great to see you, how are you doing?” In the moment I instinctively interpreted this to mean: “Relax, everything is going to be alright.” She was maybe thirteen at the time, and I was taken aback by this clear demonstration of love and empathy. This seems to echo all the sentiments written in here in this forum. I just found out about Julie Granum´s death through her Mother, Ellen, my half sister-in-law. I wrote her back asking what happened but I have yet to hear from her. Maybe she doesn´t want the world to know, and that is her right. Ellen took care of my mother, Lillian Soules, for the last ten years of her life, as I was down in Venezuela, living and working. But I would go up to Washington every year and we would all gather together for Thanksgiving dinner, and of course Julie would be there. On those occasions I felt rather intimidated in the presence of such a large, extended family, and with my mother in tow, this insecurity was made worse, since Mom frankly was not doing well mentally in those days. But I do remember that on one occasion Julie came up to me and said something like: “It´s great to see you, how are you doing?” In the moment I instinctively interpreted this to mean: “Relax, everything is going to be alright.” She was maybe thirteen at the time, and I was taken aback by this clear demonstration of love and empathy. This seems to echo all the sentiments written in here in this forum.

]]> By: Jake B-M http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3245 Jake B-M Thu, 22 May 2008 17:51:58 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3245 I only just came across this today. I really wish I'd known about the service. This whole thing is so saddening. Her spirit was so bright. She shinned brighter than anyone I've ever known. I can't really come to terms with that light being out. I'm so sorry, especially for her family (who I met briefly when she brought me home for thanksgiving a few years ago) and to the people closest to her. I've always assumed her and I would reconnect someday. If anyone has more information on what actually happened I would be grateful. Everything seems so vague. Jake 917-515-0982 I only just came across this today. I really wish I’d known about the service. This whole thing is so saddening. Her spirit was so bright. She shinned brighter than anyone I’ve ever known. I can’t really come to terms with that light being out. I’m so sorry, especially for her family (who I met briefly when she brought me home for thanksgiving a few years ago) and to the people closest to her. I’ve always assumed her and I would reconnect someday.

If anyone has more information on what actually happened I would be grateful. Everything seems so vague.

Jake
917-515-0982

]]> By: James Granum http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3244 James Granum Fri, 16 May 2008 17:51:24 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3244 A service for Julie will be held Saturday, May 17th at 2pm at the Sandy Spring Friends School Meeting House. The address is 16923 Norwood Rd. Sandy Spring, MD 20860 Phone: 301-774-7455. In keeping with the free spirit that Julie was, this will be a "comfortable" service with gentlemen dressed in khaki's and a button down shirt, ties and blazers are not needed. Ladies can wear something comparable. This will also be a Quaker service with much of the time dedicated to hearing memories of Julie as shared by you, her friends. These thoughts and memories do not need to be grandiose or eloquent, but instead just a reflection of the memories you have of Julie. A reception will follow at the Performing Arts Center. Thank you. Love, James A service for Julie will be held Saturday, May 17th at 2pm at the Sandy Spring Friends School Meeting House. The address is 16923 Norwood Rd. Sandy Spring, MD 20860 Phone: 301-774-7455. In keeping with the free spirit that Julie was, this will be a “comfortable” service with gentlemen dressed in khaki’s and a button down shirt, ties and blazers are not needed. Ladies can wear something comparable. This will also be a Quaker service with much of the time dedicated to hearing memories of Julie as shared by you, her friends. These thoughts and memories do not need to be grandiose or eloquent, but instead just a reflection of the memories you have of Julie. A reception will follow at the Performing Arts Center. Thank you.
Love,
James

]]> By: Kate Coyne http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3243 Kate Coyne Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:30:46 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3243 She was a beautiful young girl and I was so sad to hear of her passing. We were friends as young girls back in our early teen years. We were only close for a little while -- but all the same she had a great impact on my outlook in my youth and I always remembered her fondly -- as I do now. I love reading about the joys that she has brought to so many people, the posts are beautiful. She was such a genuine spirit and I will always remember her smile and bright eyes. Darman, Mitchell and Carrington -- I'm so glad that you have represented her well here. You are good men and good friends to all. She was very well-loved. Fondly, Kate She was a beautiful young girl and I was so sad to hear of her passing. We were friends as young girls back in our early teen years. We were only close for a little while — but all the same she had a great impact on my outlook in my youth and I always remembered her fondly — as I do now. I love reading about the joys that she has brought to so many people, the posts are beautiful. She was such a genuine spirit and I will always remember her smile and bright eyes. Darman, Mitchell and Carrington — I’m so glad that you have represented her well here. You are good men and good friends to all. She was very well-loved.

Fondly,

Kate

]]> By: Bryan L. http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3242 Bryan L. Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:36:52 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3242 I knew Julie long ago through her older sister - even kept an eye on her a couple times when her family was out of town - and remember her with great affection. A few months ago, I happened upon her while doing one of my random Google searches, and dropped her an email. What followed was a too brief email correspondence, sent into hiatus by me with my all-too-frequent reluctance to write when nothing major was happening, when I didn't feel like I had anything worth saying. Tomorrow, I told myself. Maybe next week. Which became next month. And the next... and the next... and now... it is too late. There will be, there can be, no more letters. I am just relieved - if that is even the right word - to hear that her death was accidental and not self-inflicted. Hers was too beautiful a soul to be snuffed out by her own hand, but still too beautiful to be extinguished so early in life, by whatever means. I will miss you, Julie, the closest thing to a little sister I ever had. And I'm sorry I never wrote you that email back. Just so you know, things are good... I am sad at your passing, but remember you with fondness and joy. I knew Julie long ago through her older sister – even kept an eye on her a couple times when her family was out of town – and remember her with great affection. A few months ago, I happened upon her while doing one of my random Google searches, and dropped her an email. What followed was a too brief email correspondence, sent into hiatus by me with my all-too-frequent reluctance to write when nothing major was happening, when I didn’t feel like I had anything worth saying. Tomorrow, I told myself. Maybe next week. Which became next month. And the next… and the next… and now… it is too late. There will be, there can be, no more letters. I am just relieved – if that is even the right word – to hear that her death was accidental and not self-inflicted. Hers was too beautiful a soul to be snuffed out by her own hand, but still too beautiful to be extinguished so early in life, by whatever means.

I will miss you, Julie, the closest thing to a little sister I ever had. And I’m sorry I never wrote you that email back. Just so you know, things are good… I am sad at your passing, but remember you with fondness and joy.

]]> By: Rachel V. http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3223 Rachel V. Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:51:28 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3223 A couple of years younger than me at Sandy Spring Friends School, Julie was always so warm and lively, always caring. In my senior year we became good friends. She writes in my yearbook of a concert we attended together, thanking for me for taking her. Yet I remember clearly how she was the one who set up the opportunity for us to meet the musicians backstage, my all-time favorite group the Indigo Girls. It is she who deserves the biggest thanks, as this was truely a culminating event in my high school years. I imagine her now, such a bright, bright smile...joyous, laughing, and dancing. She also writes in my yearbook of how she valued our friendship, how she hopes I would not forget her when I went off to college. Finally, she writes of how she respects me as a person, namely my newly formed identity as a lesbian. Her words were powerful in a time when I had just begun to accept myself. Although we did not keep in touch over the years, I have never forgotten her gentle understanding and unwavering support. Julie was a deeply good person, deeply so. We have such a beautiful soul to remember. A couple of years younger than me at Sandy Spring Friends School, Julie was always so warm and lively, always caring. In my senior year we became good friends. She writes in my yearbook of a concert we attended together, thanking for me for taking her. Yet I remember clearly how she was the one who set up the opportunity for us to meet the musicians backstage, my all-time favorite group the Indigo Girls. It is she who deserves the biggest thanks, as this was truely a culminating event in my high school years.

I imagine her now, such a bright, bright smile…joyous, laughing, and dancing. She also writes in my yearbook of how she valued our friendship, how she hopes I would not forget her when I went off to college. Finally, she writes of how she respects me as a person, namely my newly formed identity as a lesbian. Her words were powerful in a time when I had just begun to accept myself. Although we did not keep in touch over the years, I have never forgotten her gentle understanding and unwavering support.

Julie was a deeply good person, deeply so.
We have such a beautiful soul to remember.

]]> By: brendan sheerin http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3241 brendan sheerin Thu, 10 Apr 2008 01:06:48 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3241 I am deeply saddened by Julie's passing. Carol Costa and I exchanged e-mails today, and we both remembered her with great fondness as a 12-14 year old. I can shut my eyes now and can easily see her wonderful smile and twinkling eyes- it always felt like she was getting one over on me as her teacher, and she knew that I knew, and it made her smile. May she rest in peace. Many of us at Potomac wish to send our condolences to her family. Brendan I am deeply saddened by Julie’s passing. Carol Costa and I exchanged e-mails today, and we both remembered her with great fondness as a 12-14 year old. I can shut my eyes now and can easily see her wonderful smile and twinkling eyes- it always felt like she was getting one over on me as her teacher, and she knew that I knew, and it made her smile.

May she rest in peace. Many of us at Potomac wish to send our condolences to her family.

Brendan

]]> By: Nick http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3240 Nick Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:35:41 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3240 Yeah… I mean, there’s certainly a need for a better portrait of Julie’s life to pop up first on a “Julie Granum” Google search. I think a lot of us who knew Julie growing up heard about it and rushed to a computer – and were both saddened and confused by the information/speculation that was out there. But I do want to thank the author of the blog for offering thoughtful remarks about Julie and ultimately setting up a forum to remember and appreciate her, however imperfect/electronic it may be. The problem lies in remembering Julie solely through the literary element of her life. It seems to imply that Julie was hopelessly pessimistic when nothing could be further from the truth. She could write angry feminist poetry with the best of them, but Julie was no cynic. She cared too much. She cared about her family and friends, she cared about people she didn’t know, she cared about everybody. This wasn’t because she needed love so much as it was that she sincerely believed in it. That if you’d just spend the time to reach out to others, you could find something to love in everyone, and Julie was always more willing than most to look. Which is not to say my memories of Julie won’t feature a snapshot of her onstage at the local vegan coffee house, spitting introspective/sexual/anti-establishment fire to the masses. It’s just that’s not what I’ll think about most. I’ll think of Julie’s streak of 84 consecutive weekends gushing to the whole party ‘Aww, you guys/ [insert friend], I love you.’ And then she’d be kind enough to tell everybody why (with goofy, infectious laughter peppered in between). I’ll think of her devotion to her obese cats, doing yoga in a sports bar, and going to Hawaii to teach dolphins how to read. She was in some ways a total space cadet; in others, acutely analytical, bright, and insightful. She was one of those unique people (Manny Ramirez comes to mind) who could do or say something extraordinary for which the only plausible reaction from friends was a shrug, a quizzical look, and eventual acceptance – just Julie being Julie. It’s weird how time and circumstance draw us further and further away from people we had spent every day with for years, those we never intended or wanted to let go, but slowly did. Yet there will always remain a connection to the people that have left their mark on your life, relived in the remembrance of the good times spent with those that matter to us. I may not have talked to Julie for years, but from time to time, I’d think, ‘huh, I wonder what Julie’s up to?’ Then I’d replay some episode in my mind, smile and move on. And that was about it, maybe 10 seconds once a month. In the end, it’s the daily collection of these sorts of memories that serve to reassure us that there are indeed benevolent forces at play in our universe. I always took solace in the knowledge that somewhere out there, Julie Granum was doing her thing, and the world was a better place for it. The best people touch us in a way that brightens our day even in their absence… her passing is devastating news and she will be missed by those fortunate enough to have known her. Yeah… I mean, there’s certainly a need for a better portrait of Julie’s life to pop up first on a “Julie Granum” Google search. I think a lot of us who knew Julie growing up heard about it and rushed to a computer – and were both saddened and confused by the information/speculation that was out there. But I do want to thank the author of the blog for offering thoughtful remarks about Julie and ultimately setting up a forum to remember and appreciate her, however imperfect/electronic it may be.

The problem lies in remembering Julie solely through the literary element of her life. It seems to imply that Julie was hopelessly pessimistic when nothing could be further from the truth. She could write angry feminist poetry with the best of them, but Julie was no cynic. She cared too much. She cared about her family and friends, she cared about people she didn’t know, she cared about everybody. This wasn’t because she needed love so much as it was that she sincerely believed in it. That if you’d just spend the time to reach out to others, you could find something to love in everyone, and Julie was always more willing than most to look.

Which is not to say my memories of Julie won’t feature a snapshot of her onstage at the local vegan coffee house, spitting introspective/sexual/anti-establishment fire to the masses. It’s just that’s not what I’ll think about most. I’ll think of Julie’s streak of 84 consecutive weekends gushing to the whole party ‘Aww, you guys/ [insert friend], I love you.’ And then she’d be kind enough to tell everybody why (with goofy, infectious laughter peppered in between). I’ll think of her devotion to her obese cats, doing yoga in a sports bar, and going to Hawaii to teach dolphins how to read. She was in some ways a total space cadet; in others, acutely analytical, bright, and insightful. She was one of those unique people (Manny Ramirez comes to mind) who could do or say something extraordinary for which the only plausible reaction from friends was a shrug, a quizzical look, and eventual acceptance – just Julie being Julie.

It’s weird how time and circumstance draw us further and further away from people we had spent every day with for years, those we never intended or wanted to let go, but slowly did. Yet there will always remain a connection to the people that have left their mark on your life, relived in the remembrance of the good times spent with those that matter to us. I may not have talked to Julie for years, but from time to time, I’d think, ‘huh, I wonder what Julie’s up to?’ Then I’d replay some episode in my mind, smile and move on. And that was about it, maybe 10 seconds once a month. In the end, it’s the daily collection of these sorts of memories that serve to reassure us that there are indeed benevolent forces at play in our universe. I always took solace in the knowledge that somewhere out there, Julie Granum was doing her thing, and the world was a better place for it. The best people touch us in a way that brightens our day even in their absence… her passing is devastating news and she will be missed by those fortunate enough to have known her.

]]> By: Max http://carolynkellogg.com/2008/04/goodbye-julie-granum/comment-page-1/#comment-3239 Max Tue, 08 Apr 2008 05:21:16 +0000 http://pinkyspaperhaus.com/?p=690#comment-3239 Maybe today started out surreal or maybe I'm just remembering it that way now, but when I heard the news everything started feeling like a dream. Death is so alien, I just can't get my head around it. I spent most of the first hour trying to find out if there might be another Julie Granum that died. Or maybe it was an elaborate April fools joke. Maybe those poetry folks are crazy like that. I probably wouldn't have seen her again more than a hand full of times, but something is gone and it is never coming back. I'm glad I knew her, I'm glad I fell in love with her. She was one of the nuttiest people I have ever met. I think that's why we liked each other so much. I'm a better person for having known her. Maybe today started out surreal or maybe I’m just remembering it that way now, but when I heard the news everything started feeling like a dream. Death is so alien, I just can’t get my head around it. I spent most of the first hour trying to find out if there might be another Julie Granum that died. Or maybe it was an elaborate April fools joke. Maybe those poetry folks are crazy like that.

I probably wouldn’t have seen her again more than a hand full of times, but something is gone and it is never coming back. I’m glad I knew her, I’m glad I fell in love with her. She was one of the nuttiest people I have ever met. I think that’s why we liked each other so much.

I’m a better person for having known her.

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